I'd Rather Choke On It


There were a number of posts recently for International Women's Day and one in particular really stands out for me. It was a dating guide for women that was put out in 1938. Essentially it was a series of instructions on how to be as lifeless, innocuous  and unexceptional as possible. One of the pieces of advice that I kept thinking about after I realized what the foundation of this piece was going to be was: "Don't be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn't want to by working on his emotions". 

As men we are taught to suppress our emotions, to not feel because it is somehow a sign of weakness and I am realizing that the weakness is not the showing of emotions, it is the passionate desire to not show them. We express our weakness and our inability to deal in the emotional realm by first supressing them in ourselves, then suppressing them in other men and finally in subverting them in women. That way, we don't have to deal and we can blindly maintain this legacy of cowardice.

Well, screw that. As a man who wishes to be in his power, all of his power, I stand at the chasm of fear, anger, joy, sadness and shame and I leap with my whole heart.

Men, if you think life is hard now, try joining me. It may become like a rollercoaster that you will beg to get off of because you don't know yet what your inner world has waiting. The outcome can be (and no, that is not a promise) that the rewards will be equal to the risk.